3/22/11

WWF RAW 1/2/93: No Idea What's On This Show....Uh,Oh.

All I know that's on this show... Is Doink vs. Typhoon. Which is a fast forward match. There is probably also 2-3 other squashes. Royal Rumble was 2 weeks prior, so Mean Gene will probably be back again to tell us again what happened. I really hope this show isn't as bad as I'm hyping it. Let's Roll the Footage!!


We are LIVE from the Manhattan Center....... 18 years ago...... Sorry for the tape delay.


Tatanka vs. Damian Demento
Small package by Tatanka almost gets a 3. Tatanka clotheslines Demento over top, follows him out and throws him back in. Irish whip into the corner, Demento comes out and takes the clothesline. Demento throws Tatanka off the ropes and delivers a back elbow which BARELY connects. WOW. Now I know why he hasn't been on TV for the last month. Demento goes for the pin and only gets 2. Demento slides behind Tatanka and starts to execute a rear naked choke. Tatanka "Hulks up" and delivers a couple chops, and executes his patented Samoan Drop for the win.
Winner: Tanaka
04:09:00, DUD. This match was nothing to write home about. Tatanka was a huge fan favorite at this time and this did nothing to showcase anything for him. It did however make Demento look boring as all hell.


We are shown a clip from MSG where Bret Hart gave a $100,000 from the WWF to the American Red Cross for the Headlock on Hunger. Say what you want about Vince McMahon and how he sexually harasses women. At least he feeds pour and malnourished kids while he does it.

Brutus The Barber Beefcake comes out for a special in ring interview. He says that he intends to return to the WWF ring despite almost dying with Hogan in a para sailing accident. He said that before the accident he laid his 80 year old mother in the grave because she died of cancer. Then his dad died, and finally his wife issued him divorce papers. Then the para sailing accident happened. Brutus said that he couldn't see shit, but he could hear and nobody gave him a chance. Nobody wanted to hold his hand. Nobody except, Hogan. The first time he got to open his eyes again, Hogan was standing in front of him....naked. No, not naked but the way we was making this sound it might as well have been the finish to the story. The crowd was hot for this when he came out, by the end of it they started getting restless. The interview finished with Brutus saying he was back to take on all comers and wouldn't back down from a challenge.

High Energy vs. Iron Mike Sharpe & Glen Ruth

Hart and Sharpe start, Irish whip off the ropes to a shoulder tackle to Owen followed by a dropkick to Owen. Tags follow and Koko dropkicks Sharpe and goes up top for the missle drop kick. Owen goes for the pin and gets the easy pinfall.
Winner: High Energy
DUD, 01:33:00. This was just squash match that made one team look phenomenal. The other team just looked out of place. Sharpe and Ruth were out of their element the moment they stepped into the arena.

We are then shown a slow motion recap of Doink taking off his cast and hitting Crush with it. We are told that Crush is in Hawaii convellessing and will be back in a couple weeks. I can't wait for the end of that stupid feud.

Doink vs. Typhoon.
Doink is handhandled straight from the bell. Doink tries a drop toe hold , which looks absolutely dreadful. Probably the worst I have ever seen. Doink follows it up with a hammerlock, and then boots to the back. Finally he attempts a version of a camel clutch which Typhoon escapes. Both men get back up to a vertical base, and Typhoon hulks up and gives Doink a huge powerslam. Irish Whip into the corner and Typhoon misses Doink. Doink then hits a top rope Shoulder tackle and pulls the tights for a 3 count.
Winner: Doink
DUD, 03:13:00, This was another match that was just uneventful and pointless. This was billed as the main match of WWF RAW this week. So With 20 minutes left in the show it's anyone's guess what's would be the main event.

Vince McMahon joins Todd Pettingail to talk about what we will see on WWF Mania on the weekend. Pettingail tells us that they will feature Giant Gonzales and how the whole locker room fears him. 20+ minutes in and this program is a complete bust.

Back in the ring and Howard Finkle tells us that Andre The Giant passed away on the weekend and he was a huge influence to a lot of people. They do a 10 belt ring salute with a picture montage. Man , he was so big he was literally like 3 feet taller than Vince McMahon.

Yokozuna vs. Bobby DeVito
No Relation to Danny DeVito. Another match that nobody cares about because they know who is going to win. Yokozuna is undefeated and they stick this jobber against him. DeVito runs towards Yoko and he takes a cresent kick right to the face. Yokozuna picks up DeVito and delivers a devistating Yurinagi. Thrown back into the corner and knocked down with a clothesline. Yokozuna then goes up , drops the Bonzai drop and gets the 3 count.
Winner: Yokozuna
DUD, 02:03:00. This needs no comments. It was another squash.

Vince McMahon is joined by Money Inc. Ted Dibiase says that the only thing that bothers him is an empty bank account but that will never happen. Dibiase says that Beefcake's story was sad , but what is even more sad is that he wasn't wrestled in 3 years and now he wants to wrestle. So they flip a coin, and Ted Dibiase wins. Jimmy Hart comes out and says that nobody can win by facing Brutus Beefcake. Ted Dibiase and IRS say that he's no better than anyone else in the audience and If he steps into the ring they won't hurt his pretty little face because that's all he has left.

Simple note. This show is almost over and it's one of the worst wrestling programs I have every watched. 3 DUDS and a Brutus Beefcake promo??


Lex Luger "The Narcissist" comes out to face          and during his entrance while admiring himself in the mirror a woman weighing at least 3 bills comes out and distracts him with the RAW sign card. This was actually really funny.

The Mr. Perfect Football vignette is shown. This never gets old. So good, how he throws the ball looks at the Minnesota Vikings player smirks and then runs is so good.

"The Narcissist" Lex Luger  vs. Jason Knight
Luger locks up wth Knight and throws him across the ring. Luger picks him up and bodyslams him. Luger finally picks him up and delivers dual Bionic Elbows before finishing Knight off with the 3 count.
Winner: The Narcissist Lex Luger
DUD, 02:23:00. This was another piece of crap. Another DUD. It was basically Luger getting his signature moves in and looking extremely strong.


Final Thoughts: This show was complete and utter crap. If someone offers you this show, run in the other direction. 5 Matches should be something to write home about. However, all of those 5 matches did nothing to build characters or to build feuds. All 5 of those matches were DUDS. There were only two bright spots in this show. The first was when Brutus Beefcake showed his real life Homosexual love in the promo at the beginning of the show. Ok, he's not really in a relationship his Hogan. However, you wouldn't have guessed that with how he have Hogan a verbal Blow Job. The Other great thing about this program was the Mr.Perfect Vignette. His vignettes when he would play sports were always so amazing and fun to watch. Again..... Worst RAW yet. I deserve a hot poker up my ass for sitting through this.

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